An elderly man was quite unhappy because he

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment,

| Men jokes

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.

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Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand

| Dog jokes

Q: What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper? - A: RUFF!

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What's the difference between a penis and a

| Dirty jokes

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!

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Why did a gambler scare everyone out

| Various animal jokes

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!

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What do you call an honest lawyer?

| Lawyer jokes

What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.

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An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entiresermon on “The Ten Commandments.” After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and told him “I want to thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it.” Preacher: “You mean the commandment ‘I shall not steal’ changed your mind?” Old Man: “No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old hat!”