What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound
| Dog jokes
What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen? Eat out.
[ read more ]
What do dogs have that
| Dog jokes
What do dogs have that no other animal has ? Puppy dogs !
[ read more ]
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the
| Dirty jokes
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A
[ read more ]
Judge: Tell me your occupation.
| Criminal jokes
Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; I'm a locksmith, Your Honour. Judge: Then what were you doing in a jewellery shop in the middle of the night when the police saw you? Prisoner; Making a bolt for the door!
[ read more ]
Once upon a time, a
| Frog jokes
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, " I once was a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the cas
[ read more ]
A farmer who’s been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. “I understand you’re claiming damages for the injuries you’re supposed to have suffered?” Stated the counsel for the insurance company. “Yes, that’s right,” replied the farmer, nodding his head. “You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied, ‘I’ve never felt better inn my life. Is that the case?” “Yeah, but” stammered the farmer. “A simple yes or not will suffice,” counsel interrupted quickly. “Yes,” Replied the farmer. Then it was the turn of the farmer’s counsel to ask him questions. “Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when you made your statement of health,” his lawyer said. “Certainly,” replied the farmer. “After the accident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead. “Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come straight over to me and asked me how I was feeling. “Now, mate, what the heck would you have said to him?”