There was an old man

What do you call an alcoholic dog ?

| Dog jokes

What do you call an alcoholic dog ? A whino !

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What do you call an elephant that can't do

| Elephant jokes

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !

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What's the national anthem of Puerto

| Ethnic jokes

What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

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A little Italian grandfather comes

| Old age jokes

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs. The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?" He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an

| Rabbit jokes

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.

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There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nusring for the aged would be appropriate. Of course the old man rejected the idea, but no sooner he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. On his first day at the home, he spent most of his time laying in bed reflecting on life, feeling lonely. A while later, an orderly stopped by to seee how the old man’s first day was going. “How you doing today?”, she said to the old man, “First day I see”. The Old man replied with a nod. In no time the two began talking up a storm. As the conversation began to drag on, the orderly was eyeing the room filled with fresh flowers, cards and balloons from friends and relatives. She noticed a bowl full of peanuts sitting on top of the table next to the bed, and help herself to a handful. As the two continued to converse with eac h other, the orderly kept eating more helpings of the peanuts. She look at her watch and noticed that nearly 2 hours had passed and said, “My goodness, the time has gone by quickly. I have to tend to other people here too.” “That’s okay.”, said the old man, “I feel so much better being able to talk to someone.” Looking into the bowl the orderly said, “I feel awful! I ate almost all of your peanuts!” The old man responded, “That’s okay. Ever since I got these false teeth, all I could do was suck the chocolate off of them anyhow.”