Q: How do you get a viola section to play

Why does the Hound of the

| Dog jokes

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night? Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

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Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step

| Christmas jokes

Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!

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What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

| Cow jokes

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy!

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You're a big Internet fan aren't

| Internet jokes

You're a big Internet fan aren't you? Yes - it's becoming a habit!

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When do

| Accountant jokes

When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise'

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Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? A: Write a whole note with “solo” above it.