MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you

Q: Why are people in

| Clinton jokes

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.

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Why did the burglar take a shower?

| Criminal jokes

Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway

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When is a car like a frog ?

| Frog jokes

When is a car like a frog ? When it's becing toad !

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A Lutheran

| Car and train jokes

A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" And the minister says, "Just

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Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a

| Yo momma jokes

Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

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MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else.