Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot
| Bath jokes
Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !
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Men are like shag
| Men jokes
Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
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Policeman: Didn't you hear me
| Car and train jokes
Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you? Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I drive.
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What song to snakes like to sing ?
| Snake jokes
What song to snakes like to sing ? Viva Aspana !
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How does a football player make phone calls?
| Telephone jokes
How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone.
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An airforce officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of attmittance to heaven. The officer flyboy replies; yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two seabees harrassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentelman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this seabee to stand down. St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act. The pilot replied; about 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!