A Maintenance

School lunches are not generally popular with

| Apple jokes

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason. "What kind of pie do you call this ?" asked one schoolboy indignantly. "What's it taste of ?" asked the cook. "Glue!" "Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."

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Laws of

| Accountant jokes

Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don't 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will

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Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the

| Computer jokes

Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586? A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

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A young man who was also an avid golfer found

| Sport jokes

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could acco

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Young Jimmy was having a snack

| Children jokes

Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran. ' Would you like another cookie ?' she asked. 'Yes, please,' replied Jimmy. 'What good manners you have,' said his Gran. ' I do like to hear young people say 'please' and 'thank you'. 'I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of th

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A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP directives (Standard Operating Procedures) that WOULD be followed under all circumstances. One of these directives was that NO ONE over the rank of Staff Sergeant would drive their own vehicle, that was what the lower enlisted were for. One morning, the Master Sergeant in charge of the S-2 shop of the battalion had an intel report that was due at Division Headquarters within the hour, and his clerk, a PFC, was off that morning because of duty the night before. The Sergeant felt that he had no choice, the report HAD to get to Division; so he got into his Jeep and started to Division Headquarters. As he got to the gate, the XO stopped him. In a very sarcastic voice he said, “Aren’t we paying our drivers a lot these days?” The NCO, without missing a beat re plied, “Not at all, Sir, when you consider what we are paying gate guards.”