Q: What’s the best

First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's

| Monster jokes

First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's hanging out. Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!

[ read more ]

I took my son to the zoo yesterday.

| Zoo jokes

I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him?

[ read more ]

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her

| Birthday jokes

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

[ read more ]

Andy: "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last

| Dance jokes

Andy: "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row." Doctor: "Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible." Andy: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the third girl

[ read more ]

A man is captured by cannibals,

| Cannibal jokes

A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "Hey, you can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks!"

[ read more ]

Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.