If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how

A driver pulled up beside a rundown

| Car and train jokes

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. "Don't know," the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirr

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Auntie Gladys

| Car and train jokes

Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. 'Oh, Gladys,' said her friend, 'you've lost your engine! 'Never mind dear,' said auntie.

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A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a

| Car and train jokes

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I h

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An elderly lady did her shopping and,

| Old age jokes

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !"

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What are baby witches

| Baby jokes

What are baby witches called? Halloweenies.

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If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?