The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier.
| Dirty jokes
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for
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Trevor: That's a cool
| Children jokes
Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green. Jill: Yes, and I have another pair just like it at home.
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Why do pigs have flat snouts?
| Pig jokes
Why do pigs have flat snouts? From running in to trees.
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Why did the robber take a bath?
| Bath jokes
Why did the robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.
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At the inquest
| Dead and dying jokes
At the inquest into her husband's death by food poisoning Mrs Wally was asked by the coroner if she could remember her husband's last words. "Yes," she replied. "He said 'I don't know how that shop can make a profit from selling this salmon at only 20 cents a tin..."
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A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?” The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?” Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um…no.” “-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?” The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, “-or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?” The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…” On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: “-so if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”