Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day
| School jokes
Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off. Pupil: You have my permission !
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A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned
| Farmer jokes
A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down. During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, say
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Q. What is good for your soul but not your
| Dance jokes
Q. What is good for your soul but not your soles? A. Linedancing!
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An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked
| Military jokes
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! Th
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Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a
| Bath jokes
Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
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Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.