Calvin went to Pearson’s Pet Shop to

Two cannibals were having lunch.

| Cannibal jokes

Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."

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It was a few days before Christmas. The trip

| Aviation jokes

It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very serious

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How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land

| Burger jokes

How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball? He throws four meatballs!

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Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a

| School jokes

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water !

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The General went out to find that none of his

| Military jokes

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10

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Calvin went to Pearson’s Pet Shop to complain that his canary wouldn’t sing. “File the beak just a little,” said the owner, “and the bird will sing. But if you file it too much, the canary will die.” Two weeks later Pearson ran into Calvin on the street and asked about his canary. “He died,” said Calvin. “But I told you not to file the beak too much.” “I didn’t,” explained Calvin, “but by the time I got him out of the vise, he was already dead.”