Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist
| Dentist jokes
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?" "Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!" "What do you brush with?" asked the dentist, "Preparation H,"
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Teacher: Didn't you know the
| School jokes
Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone? Fred: I didn't take it, Miss.
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Q: What has got four legs and an arm?
| Dog jokes
Q: What has got four legs and an arm? - A: A Rottweiler in a playground.
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My First Public War
| Vietnamese
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said, ""How'd you learn to shoot like that ? Have you ever been in combat before?"" ""Well suh,"" drawled the boy, ""To be honest, this is my first public war.""
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The kids are crazy about a new piglet
| Pig jokes
The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off their plates.
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A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that’s bad. Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad. Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned. Exasperated, Peter says, “Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I’m trying to help. Now think!” The man says, “There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell’s Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I t hen went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face”. “Wow”, said Peter, “That’s impressive. When did this happen”? “Oh, about 10 minutes ago”, replied the man.