The desk

Professor: I forgot to take

| College jokes

Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it, dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

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Your Momma's so black she got counted

| Yo momma jokes

Your Momma's so black she got counted absent at night school.

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Who writes hit musicals on the

| Internet jokes

Who writes hit musicals on the Internet? Andrew Lloyd Webber.

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What do you call an aardvark that plays

| Aardvark jokes

What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark!

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What do you call a Scottish parrot ?

| Bird jokes

What do you call a Scottish parrot ? A Macaw !

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The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. “You’ve got to help me! There’s a giant gray thing in my yard, and it’s pulling apples off the tree with its tail!” “What’s he doing with the apples?” the sergeant asked. “If I told you,” the woman cried, “you wouldn’t believe me!”