Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of
| Christmas jokes
Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep. Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!
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Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody
| Weather jokes
Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes? The weatherman.
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Did you go shopping for my birthday
| Birthday jokes
Did you go shopping for my birthday present? "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!"
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Why is a cat on a beach like
| Christmas jokes
Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ? Because they both have "Sandy claws" !
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A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”. Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, ” We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows”. The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, “And what are those”? The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas”?’