What should you do if you are on a picnic
| King Kong jokes
What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong? Give him the biggest bananas.
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Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better
| Doctor and nurse jokes
Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better today! Camper: It should, I practised all night!
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Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
| Dirty jokes
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
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Fred: I met a really
| Movie and TV jokes
Fred: I met a really conceited actor the other day. Harry: Why do you say he's conceited? Fred: Well, every time there was a thunderclap during the storm, he went to the window and took a bow.
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A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, “You know, you’re the tenth car I’ve helped out of the mud today.” The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, “When do you have time to plough your land? At night?” “No,” the young farmer replied seriously, “Night is when I put the water in the hole.”