Why are football players never asked for
| Sport jokes
Why are football players never asked for dinner? Because they're always dribbling!
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What pillar doesn't need holding up ?
| Insect jokes
What pillar doesn't need holding up ? A caterpillar !
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If athletes get athlete's foot, then what
| Space jokes
If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
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Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us
| Christmas jokes
Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?
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What's a shy and retiring
| Accountant jokes
What's a shy and retiring accountant? An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a coke.” “No problem,” said the Israeli. “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, “That looks good. I think I’ll have one too.” Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. “How long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our peoples….. this hatred… this animosity… this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?”