There was once a Scotsman and an

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You're spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked? No, they've always been blue!

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A kid called up his

| College jokes

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, okay," respo

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What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and

| Monster jokes

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster? - Grandma monster

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What kind of dog is a person's best friend?

| Dog jokes

What kind of dog is a person's best friend? A palmatian!

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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and

| Blonde jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!

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There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen’s eggs for breakfast. One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman’s garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, “In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I punch you in the nose and note how long it takes you to recover, then you punch me in the nose and note how long it takes for me to recover, whomever recovers quicker wins the egg.” The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman held the heaviest object he could find, took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and punched him as hard as he could in the nose. The Englishman fell to the ground and was howling in agony and holding his nose for thirty minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, “Now it’s my turn to punch you.” The Scotsman said, “Keep the lousy egg.”