A cat and a mouse died on the same
| Heaven and hell jokes
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?' The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates. The next day God saw the cat and a
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She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it
| Beauty jokes
She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.
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Teacher: "Who built the first American
| Car and train jokes
Teacher: "Who built the first American car?" Student: "Me Pilgrims." Teacher: "The Pilgrims?" Student: "Yeah, they made the Mayflower Compact."
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land
| Bird jokes
How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely ? With it's sparrowchute !
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What do you call a robbery in China ?
| Criminal jokes
What do you call a robbery in China ? A Chinese take away !
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. “Well,” said the Englishman, “I support the Liverpool football club, so I’ll eat the liver.” “I support the Hearts club,” said the Scotsman, “so I’ll eat the heart.” “I support Arsenal,” said the Irishman, “but I seem to have lost my appetite.”