An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New
| Divorce jokes
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"
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A businessman hires a private detective to
| Accountant jokes
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions. "Was he tall or was he short?" The businessman replies, "Both!"
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What do
| Blonde jokes
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!
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If you drop this book in a pig
| Pig jokes
If you drop this book in a pig pen, what should you do? Take the words out of their mouths.
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Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian
| Car and train jokes
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
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A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man, “Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.” “But doc,” protested the patient, “if I do that, I’ll get pneumonia.” “I know,” said the doctor, “I can cure pneumonia.”