A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her

What is the last thing you eat before

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What is the last thing you eat before you die? You bite the dust.

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My Years in a Lunatic Asylum by I. M.

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My Years in a Lunatic Asylum by I. M. Nutty

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What would a pig name a chain of food

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What would a pig name a chain of food stores? "Stop "N Slop Markets"

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Teacher: What

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Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ? Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !

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Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils

| E-mail jokes

Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.

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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded. “I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?” “I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.” He said, “Do you have a real grudge?” “No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.” “Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?” “Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.” “Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?” “Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.” Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?” “Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!”