A man observed a woman in the grocery store
| Parent jokes
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half o
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What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?
| Bed jokes
What should you do if you find a snake in your bed? Sleep in the wardrobe.
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Why did the farmer put his cow on
| Cow jokes
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!
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At the Russian War College, the general is a
| Ethnic jokes
At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will we have to fight a World War Three?" "Yes, comrad
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What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?
| Cannibal jokes
What does a cannibal call a skateboarder? Meals on wheels.
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A guy went out on the golf course took a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. When he finally got himself to the doctor, he said, “How bad is it doc? I’m getting married next week, and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way.” The doc said, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay by next week.” So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentioned none of this to his girl. They got married and on the honeymoon night in their hotel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them, and she said,You’ll be the first; no one has ever touched them before.” He tore off his pants and said, “Look at this. It’s still in the crate!”