Doctor: Have you ever had this
| Doctor and nurse jokes
Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, you've got it again!
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What do you call a vampire
| Vampire jokes
What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire.
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A man was very proud of his guard
| Dog jokes
A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. "Is that your big dog outside?" Wondering how she had got past him he said "Yes why?" She said I'm sorry but my dog just killed him
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Father Christmas lost
| Christmas jokes
Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not? Because it wasn't raining!
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What kind of sharks make good
| Various animal jokes
What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads!
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A guy is strolling along a sandy beach one day when he comes across a very old bottle. He’s just dusting it off when two rather tired looking genies pop out “Two genies!” he exclaims. “That must mean six wishes!” “Sorry, buddy, it’s three or nuthin’,” say the genies, “and hurry up”. The guy makes his three wishes and races off home to see if they’ve been granted. He gets home and runs into his bedroom, where he finds the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen waiting for him. After hours of mad, passionate sex, he stumbles out of bed and walks into the living room where he is knee deep in $1000 bills. The guy can hardly believe his luck. Just then there is a knock at the door. He rushes over to open it, when two hooded KKK members throw a rope around his neck and string him up naked until he is dead. The two then take off their white hoods to reveal that they are, in fact, the two genies, bot h looking rather puzzled. The first genie turns to the second and says, “I can understand the beautiful woman and all the money in the world, by why on earth would you want to be hung like a black man?”