Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to

Do vegetarians eat animal

| Answer me this jokes

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

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What's the difference between a homeless and a

| Food jokes

What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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How do you take a pig to

| Pig jokes

How do you take a pig to hospital? By hambulance!

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If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what

| Apple jokes

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.

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A doctor has come to see one of

| Doctor and nurse jokes

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not,"

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Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow! I’m on my way, Father Christmas. Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on! That’s all right! There’s only one foot of snow!