ELF NO. 1: What did

Customer: That crust on

| Waiter jokes

Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasn't the crust, that was the pie plate.

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What's the difference between a homeless and a

| Food jokes

What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Alfie was listening to his

| Brother and sister jokes

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. ' Sis,' he said, 'I wish you'd sing Christmas carols. 'That's nice of you, Alfie,' she replied. 'Why ?' 'Then I'd only have to hear you once a year !

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Several

| Business jokes

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well,"

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How did the woman feel when she got run

| Car and train jokes

How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car? Tired.

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ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve? ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!