Category: Teeth jokes

Beatrice Lillie (Lady Peel) was once accosted by a haughty old dowager who scrutinized her through her lorgnettes. “What lovely pearls, dear Beatrice,” she maliciously remarked. “Are they real?” Yes, nodded Lady Peel. “Of course,” the dowager declared, “you can always tell real pearls by biting them. May I try?” “Gladly,” Lady Peel replied. “But remember, Duchess, you can’t tell real pearls with false teeth.”

How does Snoop Dogg keep his canine teeth white? BLEEEEEE-YATCH!

What did the tooth say to the dentist? “Fill ‘er up!”

What did one tooth say to the other tooth? “Thar’s gold in them thar fills.”

What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw.

Why is 4,840 square yards like a bad tooth ? Because it is an acre.

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth.” The man said, “No problem.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said. The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said. The man then said, “I have another pair – try these.” The speaker tried them and responded, “Too tight.” The man was not taken back at all. He then said, “I have one more pair. Try them.” The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.”With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. “I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.” The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m an undertaker.”

What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said, “Darling, you’ve got lovely teeth.”

What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese.

What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe? A long necked toothbrush.