Category: Business jokes

Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing and he does the stealing.

There was once a high-powered businessman who insisted on taking his three secretaries everywhere with him – a tall one for writing longhand, a short one for taking down shorthand, and a very small one for adding footnotes.

On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said, ‘I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof. Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof. ‘Now,’ said his father, ‘when I say, “Jump,” I want you to jump off the roof. ‘But, Dad,’ said the boy, ‘there’s a huge drop! ‘Do you want to succeed in business?’ ‘Yes, Dad. ‘And you trust me, don’t you?’ ‘Yes, Dad. ‘So do as I say and jump. The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.

What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you don’t succeed – you’re fired!

Monster: Stick ’em down. Ghost: Don’t you mean, stick ’em up. Monster: No wonder I’m not making much money in this business.

Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It’s for people who can’t swim!

What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.

Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole business.

Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company. “Would you spell that, please?” “Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.” The operator pauses. “Just a minute, sir. I’ll connect you with my supervisor . . .”

Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other ” hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?” pointing to the supervisor. The other says, “I don’t know, go ask him.” So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says “Hey, how come we do all a da work and you get all a da money?” The supervisor says “Intelligence”. Guido says “what is this intelligence?” The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says “Hita my hand as hard as you can!” Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit the supervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor pulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisor says “That’s intelligence”. Still smarting Guido goes back to his co-worker and his co-worker says “Hey what did he say?” With a sheepish look on his face Guido puts his hand on his face and says “hita my hand as hard as you can. . .”