Motorist: When I bought this car you

A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to

| Dog jokes

A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused said "Why do you want me to do that? the dogs tail is perfectly healthy." The man replied "Well the wifes mother comes this weekend and I want to make sure there are no signs of any welcome!!"

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Fred came home from his first day at school.

| School jokes

Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"

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Did you hear about the do-it-yourself

| Dead and dying jokes

Did you hear about the do-it-yourself funeral? They just loosen the earth and you sink down by yourself.

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What did the ghost serve at his Halloween

| Halloween jokes

What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party? Hallowieners!

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Teacher: What's big

| School jokes

Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!

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Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it’s covered with rust Dealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didn’t charge you for it, did we?