If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call
| Answer me this jokes
If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call it Fed UP?
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Judge to witness: "And where was the location of
| Judge jokes
Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?" Witness: "Approximately milepost 499." Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?" Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."
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Q: Why couldn't the animals
| Humor jokes
Q: Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards? A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!
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There was once a puppy called
| Various animal jokes
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why ? Because that was the end of May!
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Don't look out of the
| Beauty jokes
Don't look out of the window, Betty, people will think it's Halloween.
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A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign’s efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, “My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules — make sure th e captain is aboard before getting under way!”