Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting
| Internet jokes
Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet, you'll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!
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A policeman pulled a blonde over after
| Blonde jokes
A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
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One day there was a tortoise walking on
| Various animal jokes
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the
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A biologist from the North Pole was showing
| Biologist jokes
A biologist from the North Pole was showing a new recruit the ropes of a polar bear radio tracking program. The new recruit said, "I know how the transmitters work, but I have one question--how do you catch the polar bears in the first place?" "I bet you use high-powered tranquilizer dart guns
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Patron: How come
| Waiter jokes
Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.
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Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant’s milk. Whose baby was it? The elephant’s!