No flight ever leaves on time unless you are

A woman was in court

| Marriage jokes

A woman was in court charged with wounding her husband. "But why did you stab him over a hundred times?" asked the judge. "Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant, "I didn't know how to switch off the electric carving knife."

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Q: What do you call 4 blondes laying on the

| Dirty jokes

Q: What do you call 4 blondes laying on the beach? A: Public access.

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Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I

| School jokes

Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!

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Q. How do you confuse a

| Blonde jokes

Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

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What's the difference between an injured

| Elephant jokes

What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain !

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No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start to drink your coffee. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory. The crying baby on board is always seated next to you. The best-looking woman/man on your flight is never seated next to you. The less carry-on luggag e space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.