Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into
| Cow jokes
Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow? I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!
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Why didn't the two worms get on
| Insect jokes
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
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Men are like mini skirts.
| Men jokes
Men are like mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
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Melburn was strolling along downtown
| Idiot and fool jokes
Melburn was strolling along downtown Natchez with a framed picture under his arm. "Hey, what yew got there?" asked a neighbor. "I dunno much 'bout art," replied Melburn, "but Ah just bought me an original Michelangelo for two hundred dollars! It's one of the few he ever did in ballpoint!"
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At one of the packed, Delta ticket counters all of ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could. A man toward the end of the snaking line of passengers was obviously impatient and very frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow moving line. He finally decided to march right up to the counter pulling his wheeled suitcase and demanded that he be given his boarding pass. The ticket agent turned, looked at him, blinked, took a shallow, deep breath and said, “Sir, as you can see there are many passengers ahead of you. We are doing our best to process the passengers as fast as we can. I’m afraid you’ll have to get back in line”. Outraged and red in the face, the man yelled at the ticket agent saying, “Do you know who I am ???!!!.” The ticket agent turned, looked at him, blinked, took another shallow, deep breath, picked up the publi c address system microphone and said calmly, “There is a man at the Delta ticket counter who does not know who he is. Anyone who may be able to identify this man is asked to please step forward and identify him. Thank you”.