A woman woke her husband in the middle of the
| Criminal jokes
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning." "Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"
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What do you call the horse than lives next
| Horse jokes
What do you call the horse than lives next door? A neighbour!
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Why couldn't
| Bus jokes
Why couldn't the skeleton pay his bus fare? Because he was skint.
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What do they say about the noise at the
| Burger jokes
What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl? It's PAN-demonium!
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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there
| Doctor and nurse jokes
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me One at a time please
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A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, Now sit back and relax. – OH MY GOD!” Silence Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I an so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” A passenger in Coach said: “That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”