A young accountant, straight out

Why did the owl, owl ?

| Bird jokes

Why did the owl, owl ? Because the woodpecker would peck 'er !

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What do parrots eat ?

| Bird jokes

What do parrots eat ? Polyfilla !

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Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest

| Baby jokes

Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn't push the pram - she pulled it.

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What did the pay

| Money jokes

What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it? Money's tight these days!

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If Microsoft built cars you would need to

| Computer jokes

If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car, then it would perform illegal operations and crash.

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A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man, “but mainly I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” “How do you mean?” says the accountant. “I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters.” “OK,” says the accountant. “How much are you offering?” “You can start on seventy-five thousand,” says the owner. “Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?” “That,” says the man, “is your first worry.”